Anand's Place: November 2005

Dad's in town!

I took the seabus to meet him at Canada Place him after his convention, and we had dinner across the road at Heron's where Ryan served to us teh good food's, yay!

Beautiful day in Van.

"Is this all I get?"

Beware of fake Ball Lightning attacks!

These are the nimrods to blame for Neil's shirt! Neil, you know what I'm talking about!

And finally, what evening would be complete without a good bus-station traffic joke?

Mrs. Nastynotes, meet Basic Arithmetic

Here's the numbers at my house:

2 Suites (one upstairs, one downstairs)
4 Parking spaces (for those of you who are mathematically inclined, that is equal to 2 per suite)
1 Car (my roommates have a car, the basement dwellers do not)

The setup: my roomate Linh has a friend named Christine (not her real name...or, is it?) who is staying here for a few days; she parked her car in our second spot.

And now: the note that our lovely basement-neighbour put on Christine's car:

What the hell is that, anyways? Where's my pink copy? I should have a pink copy for my records. And seriously, could I possibly care any less that the note is CC'd to "squiggle?"

Note to lady: we live in a beautiful part of the world. Relax and enjoy it, we are lucky to be here. And, since it is clear that you harbour pretensions of being a parking commissionaire, at least learn how to operate a pen. Don't make me tell my mommy!

More shots from the mountain...

Skate or Die!

Studio: Serious Business!

Actually I should be careful what I say, lest I attract the attention of the blithering muppet who lives next door (but who just sold his house, for reasons that have nothing to do with me, for $90 000 less than the asking price, hahahaha). Here's a guy (or as he prefers to call himself, a "homeowner") who apparently hates business and music equally, although it should be said that his wife operates a home-based nail salon, and in summer months the kids routinely frolic in their back yard while a tinny ghetto blaster emits Shania Twain ALL DAY LONG (god bless the "repeat" button...). Yes, well at least we know he hates music. This idiot has repeatedly called our landlord with frivolous complaints like, "there's people coming and going from there, I've seen it. I'm a homeowner. Are they running a business? Are they 'cutting discs?' I'm a homeowner. Do they have a licence? I'm a homeowner." Yeah we get it, you own a house, I'm so proud of you. Now beat it with your stupid questions and your phony sense of entitlement. If there's any business going on here, it certainly isn't any of yours.

Chuck Norris!

Here's something funny that a friend e-mailed to me:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck

Justin - MINGERS AND SLAPPERS

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
and things like that

Justin says:
yes

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
things of that nature, in fact

Justin says:
yes

Justin says:
ehe

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
err, that is so

Justin says:
IT IS

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
then we agree

Justin says:
certainly

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
so it shall be

Justin says:
make it so

Yay, Thanks Lady! says:
number one, i order you to take a number two

Justin says:
hahahhahah