Ugly Shirt Party / Backyard Barbecue Beer Bash & Birthday Brouhaha

For all you philistines who are hungry for a taste of true sophistication and modern elegance, Friday is your lucky day! That's right, it's the 1st annual Ugly Shirt Party, so get ready to spill some barbecue sauce on your shirt and not care, whooooo!

Ugly Shirt Party FAQs:

Q: I don't have an Ugly Shirt, can I still come?
A: Chances are you actually do, but if you are truly at loose ends, the good news is that Ugly Shirts are IN STORES NOW, for a FRACTION OF WHAT YOU MIGHT EXPECT TO PAY!!

Q: I'm a girl, do I have to wear an Ugly Shirt?
A: Girls are cool.

Q: Is it true that wearing an Ugly Shirt will make me more attractive to the opposite sex?
A: Of course it is!! You don't think we wear them for their looks, do you?

Q: I once heard that rayon makes the best material for Ugly Shirts, is that true?
A: Well it depends what you mean by "best." While it is true that some of the all-time-classic Ugly Shirts have been made from rayon, polyester is also an excellent choice.

Q: Is it bad if my Ugly Shirt smells foul, or is that considered to add to the overall Ugliness and therefore be a good thing? I need an opinion.
A: That's a good question, but one that you shouldn't have to ask. Go wash up, Pigpen.

Q: Will people try and sell me Amway at this Ugly Shirt Party?
A: While it is true that Amway meetings often bear a sartorial resemblance to an Ugly Shirt Party, that is where the similarity ends. You have my personal guarantee that if anybody tries to pitch such nonsense at you here, they'll be getting pitched out on their ear, pronto.

Q: I'm thinking of throwing my own Ugly Shirt Party, do you have any advice?
A: Come on by, and I'm sure you'll get lots of great ideas!